| Dunno |
[Mar. 26th, 2007|01:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | OH, JULIET : A Sweet Kiss From the Afterlife | ] |
Honestly rite now I have to say that, I am very happy "]
A lot of things have me a bit stressed out, like with Drill and having to deal with all of the pressure of making sure that I am 100% not matter what on Saturday...
and school of course keeping my grades up, also my brething isn't that good now so.. "/
But positives would be like, I have a lot of people looking up to me and counting on me [stressfull.. but happy at the same time], I have an amazingly beautiful and wonderful girlfriend whom I feel closer to than I ever have before....
I am missing her so much rite now because she isn't here of course though.
But we all know how that sort-of-thing goes.
Welp' I dunno what else to say other than... I LOVE YOU GUYS!
P.S.
Lija I read everything you write,
I just don't know what to comment
on it so I don't. But I LOVE
EVERYTHING that you write [NO JOKE!]
<3 I love and miss you! |
|
|
| Jessica Marie Spytko The Love Of My Life: The Pea To My Pod... |
[Mar. 3rd, 2007|06:45 pm] |
Today I am with Jessica enjoying myself. Rhapsodized with her beauty I sit and stare at her beautiful face, her essence tingles my toes, I'm madly, deeply, passionately in love with her: its insane! Her touch drives me crazy and her love is more that I could ever ask for. No girl could ever compare to her and her [ness].If I ever look, glance or even stare [which I know I should never do] I will be condemed to her torturing ways. I KNOW BETTER.
-Avalon M. Felan
Six years from now we will end up together with our kids, Landon, Justine and Areiana in a house in california so enjoy our company as much as possible. ;]kthanks |
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|
| (no subject) |
[Sep. 15th, 2006|10:38 pm] |
I have always wondered how to describe the passion I feel inside...
It just got a lot harder for me.
"/ |
|
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 15th, 2006|10:35 pm] |
"my soul, it screams for you"
I could say I know what that means... |
|
|
| agahadhadsgbad |
[Aug. 6th, 2006|07:02 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | Atreyu- Love Is illness | ] |
My soul it screams for you
Can you not here it
My arms reach out for you
Why cant you take them
My heart burns only for you
Can you extinguish it
I love only to be loved by you
Why cant you love me too
I long only to be held and care for
Why cant it be
Am I to die alone and bitter
What the hell is wrong with me
My face is blackened and my eyes are sewn shut
With fear and sorrow
I no longer wish to love anything
Just cut the heart right out of me
Sometimes I choke on all the false love
That infects me
Sometimes everything is not enough to cure
The sickness inside of me
I did it all cried black tears for you
Why cant you see see
Like a vampire biting my heart
Suck the love right out of me
Dont even care as my blood stains the floor
Cannot be cleaned
You cut me out and tore me through
Six feet unders the place for me
I feel it all as it sickens me
It feels like I'm dying inside
Because of the love I gave that cant be returned
My longing for instability is a personality flaw
I trust you with respect
And you tear me down |
|
|
| I have no idea... |
[Jun. 25th, 2006|01:56 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | relieved | ] |
Why would you keep going for something you shouldn't have?
I don't know but it seems like the rite thing.
Also phew I feel a lot better being back on here because my last entry [[private sorry]]..
yeah that last entry made me feel so much better... But I doubt I will be coming on here still
only when I really need it I will be on..
[[and no I will not show anyone my last entry so don't bother asking]] |
|
|
| I love you <3 |
[May. 28th, 2006|09:29 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | DashbordConfessional : Screaming Infadelities | ] |
I am just going to say it how it is.
I need you, I want you, I love you.
You are my everything, I want to give you
so much. I want you to have everything that
you have ever wanted. I want to do new things
with you, just try stuff out. I want to be
your everything, I want to be your only one.
I sit out side look at my star and make that
wish. The wish to be with you forever, and
to be able to do all of the things I say that
I want to do.
Don't think I am silly for wishing on a star,
it is the way I wanted to do it. And now I
need you to know. I need you to know how much
I need you in my life. I want you to know how
much I want you. And you must know how much I
love you.
You are the only person that has ever really
mattered to me. I love you so much,
and I want us to...
Make This Last. |
|
|
| "The lady with the BIG hair" |
[Apr. 29th, 2006|08:51 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
I don't know or even see how she can hurt someone so badly. Especially in sutch a short time span. I mean comon' like twice everyday I have to hear about how she hurt her daughter or her daughter's friends. The thing that gets to me most though is when she attacs my sister. I swear if you mess with my sister I will light your ass up, i'm not even kidding. I am so sick of this lady's BS! I can't handle it I am getting so fed up.. and I am always freaking stressed out about her. I know that I shouldn' let her get to me sence I mean she is a crazy psycko but I mean I hear it so much about and from her... and I cann't stand to sit here and watch her hurt people like this.. especially the people that I am so close with. I am sick of the tears she has caused to shed. I am sick of the lies, the taking things overboard, the phonecalls, the cursing, the days ware even her own daughter has to leave the house cause it gets so bad. My own mother has given her permission to come live with us for a while... but then her mom would just come and pick her up no matter what..!
So I am going crazy here and that helps a lot to get out. |
|
|
| I'm not trying to make excuses, but this is how I feel |
[Apr. 18th, 2006|09:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  geeky | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Tedy Giger: For You I Will | ] |
When you grab my hand it's just that I get so happy and I have no idea of what to do. I swear that I care when you do that to me, I care so much. I get so happy I just, I don't want to mess up. With you that is, I mean everything that I hoestly ever wanted is you; in and out. Everything about you I love and adore, don't ever think that I don't care. I always will.. I love you more than anything. Never forget that!
I Love you <3 |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Apr. 15th, 2006|10:34 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Just a great mood : ] | ] |
I hate saying bye to you and I hate when you leave the room
[even if it is just for a moment], it drives me so insane [I hate it]
but I mean that in the best way possible. I love her so much, and I swear
that when ever we kiss it is just so; I can't even explain it just it is just
about the best feeling I could ever have possibly felt in my whole life. It
means so much to me, I feel like I have been threw more with her than with
anyone one else in my whole life; wether it was a good or bad thing we worked
things out. Even if it took a bit of time to, we did. I am just so glad that
most of the things I have been threw, were with you :]...
... and I hope that we go thew many more things together, I wouln't want it
to be anyother way. I love you more than anything and you mean so much to me. |
|
|
| My break so far.. |
[Apr. 15th, 2006|10:16 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
Honestly I would have to say that my break so far has been *A-M-A-Z-I-N-G*
The past two weeks have been so confusing and just messed up, but after this weekend I feel as though I have had a lot of things straightened out.
I honestly feel more confident in myself about manythings sutch as my friends, family and well personal things.
I am just so happy that everything has worked out
[with a few flaws, but for the most part everything is all good]
:] |
|
|
| zhbadz |
[Apr. 12th, 2006|09:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  scared | ] |
So Spring Break..
People I must see are..
Laura* Jessica* Julie*
Thoose are the top three
[I don't want to forget lol jk but I need to see them]
And yeah I must say-
LIFE IS SO CONFUSING I HAVE NO CLUE ON HOW TO HANDLE THINGS ANYMORE..! |
|
|
| ..... |
[Apr. 9th, 2006|07:15 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | bitchy | ] |
...............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
WTF DO YOU WANT ME TO DO ?!? |
|
|
| You know something? |
[Apr. 6th, 2006|05:59 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cold | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Guns N' Roses | ] |
I hate it when I go to one of your games or I am even near you, and I cannot talk to you.
It kills me to just sit there and watch you do whatever it is you are doing.
I try not to look at you and think about something else, or listen to some music. But it does not help that all the music I like is sad, and it all makes me think of you.
I can't help but look at you though, you are the most beautiful thing I have layed my eyes upon. I just wish that things were different.. but what can I do? |
|
|
| Bet you didn't even read what I wrote..<\3 |
[Apr. 4th, 2006|03:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sick | ] |
| [ | music |
| | NickelBack-Far away [ I cryed when I heard this yesterday] | ] |
Well to be honest I feel like shit.
I have felt like shit for about a week now :-/
Everything I ever wanted and needed is fucked up [I can't lie]
All I ever wanted was to love someone and have them love me back..
..aparently that isn't happening.
At this moment I feel like shit, but you know what honestly I have no intention on dating you ever agian [bet your happy].
You crack me up cause of what you are doing [giving "chances"]
I know I am not getting one of thoose.. I want one, but then agian I don't think I should. Just because I don't feel like getting mixed up in this "love" thing anymore.
All I ever did or I tryed to do was love you and care for you. I thought I did a good job at it, untill I didn't talk to you.. but like I said it is kind of hard if I cannot get my point across you.. and I bet after you read this you are going to get pissed off or hurt even more. That makes me upset cause I don't mean to hurt you I never wanted to hurt you..
I just want to be friends at least, though I will never fully accept you as "just a friend" I love you to much. |
|
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| Jessica I Mean This With My Heart I Really Want/Need You To Read This Even though you don't want to |
[Apr. 2nd, 2006|09:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  dumb:Stupid:Pissed AtSelf! | ] |
| [ | music |
| | What ever you want it to be. | ] |
I didn't go to you about my probles, the ones with you anyways. I talked to my friends I told them how I felt about a lot. Now I notice that I did fuck up. The only thing that ever bothered me really about you was that you never told me how you felt about me. Not once "I have feelings for you" doesn't cut it. I remember you wrote me a note and told me that I was the "best" one time. That note meant to much to me; all of your notes did. But that one note made me feel like nouthing could ever get in my way and I was doing what I had to do. Looking back on everything I have ever done and told you, I mean it now more than anyother time in the whole world. I do love you, you do mean a lot to me. I can't belive that me not telling you exactly what I feel/felt is tairing us apart so much. About Julie I swear to go I never liked her when we were dating, I never liked anyone while we were dating. While we were dating you were my wolrd, my everything. I needed you in my mind to keep me going threw out my days. I never meant to hurt you, especially with a picture. I stupid picture that I was goofing around in. I know that I fucked up and I am so sorry for that, but I; I don't even know I feel so bad for what I have done, I know that I have hurt you and you are never going to forgive me. I know that we are never going to be "us" agian. Not now anyways, after what I have done. I know for fact that I do not want our friendship to be messed up a tall though. I know you are never going to forgive me, but you mean so much to me I can't let you slip away from me even after this. I love you more than anything in this world, and I know it may not seem like it now. But I honestly do, You mean so much to me.
The last thing I ever wanted to do was to hurt you I promised myself that I wouldn't.. now look.. I did and I am more ashamed of myself that I have ever been in my whole entire life.. |
|
|
| Just rite now.. |
[Apr. 2nd, 2006|08:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad | ] |
The thing that kills me is that I know that wasn't about me..<\3 |
|
|
| Hate it... |
[Mar. 29th, 2006|06:42 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blank | ] |
I hate the fact that she loves me.
I hate the fact that she even thinks about me.
It isn't that I don't want her in my life at all or anything.
Just that I don't want her to have feelings for me, like she does.
I told her time and time agian to forget about ever being with me, but does she listen?
Of course not, she loves and cares for me to much to let me go.
I never want to date her, or be with her. Just because I do not love her, and I wouldn't want to hurt her. I already have enough without even meaning to, just by me being me and liking who I like.
Then agian I know exactly how she feels...
[and just so you all know, my picture for this darn thing is something that]
[I wrote a while ago. I will end up typing it out sometime, I just don't know]
[when yet. But be ready for that, and yeah this means a lot to me..........] |
|
|
| Steven |
[Mar. 27th, 2006|09:11 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | happy | ] |
I Love Steven <3 Rajamicorazoout
Makes me Happy :] |
|
|
| Just Need To Know. |
[Mar. 25th, 2006|11:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
Whe we start spending more time together I know we will be closer together, and I love that. Though I Hate it cause when we do not talk you talk to others, and I know that you will mostlikely grow feelings back or just for them. I can't stand when you even said their names it makes me want to rip my hair out and go crazy!I want you to have everything you want.. I need to know though..
..If I should just give up on you or not. You make it seem that way sometimes, like you don't want to be even around me [sometimes] I just want to know so I am not spending time on something that is never going to happen...
I will always love you no matter what though, and it kills me to say this stuff but I need to know. |
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